Jax had done a lot of thinking since he came back from the dead. He thought about how he was human, now, or as human as he was allowed in this stupid rabbit form. He thought about how he could feel the blood flowing from his body, the pain that lasted, the cold death that came for him. He wouldn't apologize for anything he had done in the circus or here during his first few weeks, because that would suggest he regretted any of it.
What he could do was take advantage the fact that he wasn't trapped in a computer with a bunch of assholes that didn't even understand him. He could do things he could not have done otherwise in the circus.
Jax yanked her into his lap, his hand pressing against her back as he sank into the kiss with a quiet sigh. For once, he didn’t have a joke ready — though he knew he’d think of one fast enough if she pulled away and said something about it.
This was crazy. Even now, she thought this was crazy. Yet as her heart raced, reminded her that she was a living thing and not a bunch of data anymore, she felt like she deserved a little crazy... and maybe he did, too.
Her stomach twisted into a knot when he pulled her in, but she shifted for comfort's sake, felt that knot twist further when he sighed. She just... hoped she was okay at this. She'd only kissed about a handful of times in her life.
Her hands lifted from their spot on his chest. When one draped over a shoulder, loosely wound around the rabbit's neck, the other smoothed against a cheek. Any minute break in the kiss from her shift into his lap was mended with a soft brush, a shy reconnection initiated by her this time; an 'I'm not going anywhere' without a word.
If asked and if he answered truthfully: Jax would admit that he had no idea what he was doing. He had wanted to kiss her for a while now, but that would have involved letting his guard down. People would have seen him being vulnerable — and in the circus? Can't have that. Besides, back their she could just abstract and he would have nothing but bitterness all over again.
She was good enough, apparently, for him to keep kissing her; easing from tentative to deep and tender once she leaned into him. She was so small, fit so nicely in his lap. He could have kept her there forever. After a moment he leaned back for a breath.
The circus would never let them hear the end of it, that's for sure. But as Jax pulled back, Pomni was fairly red-faced, two-tone pupils wide.
She... liked that. She liked this, and having herself a first time being pulled into a lap and held like she mattered, and not wanting to push them away because they invaded her space. Was it okay that she liked that? Was it okay that she wanted to do that more...? Could you be frustrated with someone and still feel all of these other things at once? This guy almost constantly barged into her space, and she'd noticed that she didn't mind it so much. What'd... what'd that mean? What did the weird evening in that moonlit forest mean? Was it werewolves at the core of it, or... was it...?
Maybe having such a boring life wasn't as bad as she thought, considering all of this was twisting her brain into knots. But her heart was racing, and she had to break eye contact. She opted for angling her head down a bit, hide behind the bangs.
"Well, y-you're alright, yourself." She was sure so many of the others here in their myriad relationships would have a thousand pointers, but... she thought he'd done fine.
Yet she burned with curiosity. "Where did... that... come from, anyway? The snacks couldn't have been that good."
When she leaned back, Jax eased away, too, letting her remain on his lap while he lounged, palms pressed behind him on the bed, furry chest purposefully puffed out since she liked it so much a second ago.
"What can I say? I'm a sucker for the girl dinner platter." He replied, because he'd be damned if he didn't take advantage of that comment. Then, he shrugged. "Just wanted to. Expected you to smack me in the face, honestly."
Now he's just showing off. God forbid she bring up how she actually liked his ears, too. How far would he go if she mentioned that, she wondered...
You know what? If he wanted to play games, she could play games, too. This meant he might be feeling a little better, which was a relief. She can give him this one.
She leaned closer, arms crossed over her chest. "You... wanted to. I see."
A brow quirked. "Giving you a smack isn't all-the-way off the table. I recall someone threatened to rip my throat out in the woods... they call that 'mixed signals' in my neck of the woods, Jax."
Jax snorted out a laugh. Was that the best she had?
"I don't know, it seemed pretty clear to me — especially with the way you reacted when I said it." He smirked. "Or are we conveniently ignoring that part?"
Pomni visibly stiffened at that. "Uhm. ...I-I wasn't-"
Holding her breath let her change so many colors, but right now all she had was the red. That evening was a blur and mountains of confusion, teeth and so much growling. Was there something she did? That was so long ago! She fought to sweep her bangs in front of her eyes.
"That- that was a weird night, I don't- what'd I... do...??"
"Do you seriously not remember? I had all those heightened senses as a werewolf. I could smell everything for miles, especially you." He leaned in again, voice low. "You were soooo horny when I showed you my teeth. Then you dug your hands into my fur... tsk, tsk, Pomni. Didn't know you were a monsterfucker."
Pomni had to shrink a little as Jax leaned in, and she actually wished a little for the circus censors. The color of her face deepened half out of being completely called out, and half out of the fact that her stomach was twisting into some absolutely HELLISH knots from hearing him talk like this.
It was enough to have her take a hand and muffle the grinning mouth. Nope. Not handling this well right now.
"I'mmmm... stilltryingtofigurethingsout...!" She lowered her head to hide her face further.
"Wh-what else am I supposed to take away from being teased and then having you be protective of me when some weird guy shows up? You started it. What does that say about you?"
Caldera may have had some shitty murder birds, but it also gave him the ability to swear and be gross to a degree that unsettled people so... pros and cons.
Sorry, Pomni, he would love to answer that question, but you have put your hand over his mouth! Fortunately, his eyebrows were still raised and it was so fucking obvious he was still grinning like a major asshole under her palm. He shrugged helplessly. I don't knoooow.
...But you know what? If covering the mouth kept it from running, that meant she could talk. Pomni took a breath and raised her head again.
"...Just don't make a game out of this, Jax. Alright? Please. I didn't hate the attention that night, and... I-I liked the kiss. I don't know if you're just screwing around, or... trying to figure something out, but... If you're serious about any of that, I want you to just tell me whenever."
She hesitated, then lowered the hand.
"...And don't say it's just a thing you do- I've never seen you kiss Gangle, Ragatha or any of the others."
"Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Although I'd rather die again than kiss Ragatha." Or Gangle for that matter, but she was the superior option.
He clicked his tongue, suddenly a little too vulnerable again now that she was so blatantly calling him out. He hadn't been joking, or fucking with her at all, save for teasing her about being horny for wolves.
"Awfully cruel to think everything I do is a joke, Pomni. I mean, I am the funny one, but I did just die and come back, and I wasn't really in the mood to joke."
There was something in the tone of his voice she was just starting to recognize. It happened in his eyes sometimes, or in the shape of his mouth. Jax was really hard to gauge a lot of the time, but as she let that hang, she wasn't going to get what she'd been worried she'd receive.
Maybe she'd accidentally hurt him, then. Who can say? But this weird visit was a big step for both of them: For him, talking about what happened and some things that were cooking away in his mind but couldn't be expressed in words; for her, stepping in and setting down how angry she'd been to get out what she'd wanted to say. The kiss was just going to be something she'd stew on for a little while.
So Pomni wrapped her arms around herself a bit, and wasn't looking at him. She wanted to lean, wanted some level of extra contact, but didn't feel much like she'd earned that any more.
If she did hurt him, it's not like it was really her fault. Jax set himself up for shit like that all the time — he purposefully made it difficult for people to read or understand him beyond the asshole facade, because it was easier to keep them at a distance. There were a lot of mixed messages, primarily because he didn't even know how to sort them out currently.
He was real. Alive. A person in a stupid bunny body, but a person nonetheless, who could die and had to actually live with the consequences of his actions. He wasn't going to be a great guy overnight, but he had to admit that he couldn't be as wild and uncaring as he had been for years in the circus.
"Screw em." He said with a shrug, "if I was going to prank you, I'd at least do something good." Jax reached for her, looped his arm around her middle, and then quickly scooped her up and rolled them both over until they were on their sides and she was shoved into his furry chest while he held her. "Pretending to be into you as a joke is... pretty lame. Kid shit."
He was right... screw 'em. She'd left that job months ago, would never see them again, and... it's... it's whatever.
Momentary surprise took her when he reached for her, and they were moved. Her hands instinctively eased to brace, and everything was soft and warm again. The bedding was nice, and she didn't blame him for staying in bed.
The fur was nice too, and she didn't blame him for flaunting it.
"...I appreciate it."
Pomni caved to the want as her hands settled, and she nuzzled her face to the fluff. God, she was tired...
"Sorry if I fall asleep on you. I was worried, so I didn't exactly... um... sleep much, so..."
"Sheesh. Loosen up a little, Pomni. I'm still here." Shockingly. Jax closed his eyes and propped his chin on top of her head. "I'll let you stay tonight, so long as you don't snore."
I'm relieved you still are was the thought that came, but she wasn't looking to get bunny-kicked out of the bed.
But she couldn't let everything slide.
"...That's what someone who snores would say," she managed, before she let herself settle in for what was going to be her first good sleep in god-knows-how-long.
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What he could do was take advantage the fact that he wasn't trapped in a computer with a bunch of assholes that didn't even understand him. He could do things he could not have done otherwise in the circus.
Jax yanked her into his lap, his hand pressing against her back as he sank into the kiss with a quiet sigh. For once, he didn’t have a joke ready — though he knew he’d think of one fast enough if she pulled away and said something about it.
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Her stomach twisted into a knot when he pulled her in, but she shifted for comfort's sake, felt that knot twist further when he sighed. She just... hoped she was okay at this. She'd only kissed about a handful of times in her life.
Her hands lifted from their spot on his chest. When one draped over a shoulder, loosely wound around the rabbit's neck, the other smoothed against a cheek. Any minute break in the kiss from her shift into his lap was mended with a soft brush, a shy reconnection initiated by her this time; an 'I'm not going anywhere' without a word.
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Nah, fuck it.
If asked and if he answered truthfully: Jax would admit that he had no idea what he was doing. He had wanted to kiss her for a while now, but that would have involved letting his guard down. People would have seen him being vulnerable — and in the circus? Can't have that. Besides, back their she could just abstract and he would have nothing but bitterness all over again.
She was good enough, apparently, for him to keep kissing her; easing from tentative to deep and tender once she leaned into him. She was so small, fit so nicely in his lap. He could have kept her there forever. After a moment he leaned back for a breath.
"...Not bad." He smirked.
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She... liked that. She liked this, and having herself a first time being pulled into a lap and held like she mattered, and not wanting to push them away because they invaded her space. Was it okay that she liked that? Was it okay that she wanted to do that more...? Could you be frustrated with someone and still feel all of these other things at once? This guy almost constantly barged into her space, and she'd noticed that she didn't mind it so much. What'd... what'd that mean? What did the weird evening in that moonlit forest mean? Was it werewolves at the core of it, or... was it...?
Maybe having such a boring life wasn't as bad as she thought, considering all of this was twisting her brain into knots. But her heart was racing, and she had to break eye contact. She opted for angling her head down a bit, hide behind the bangs.
"Well, y-you're alright, yourself." She was sure so many of the others here in their myriad relationships would have a thousand pointers, but... she thought he'd done fine.
Yet she burned with curiosity. "Where did... that... come from, anyway? The snacks couldn't have been that good."
Jokes. She had 'em.
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"What can I say? I'm a sucker for the girl dinner platter." He replied, because he'd be damned if he didn't take advantage of that comment. Then, he shrugged. "Just wanted to. Expected you to smack me in the face, honestly."
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You know what? If he wanted to play games, she could play games, too. This meant he might be feeling a little better, which was a relief. She can give him this one.
She leaned closer, arms crossed over her chest. "You... wanted to. I see."
A brow quirked. "Giving you a smack isn't all-the-way off the table. I recall someone threatened to rip my throat out in the woods... they call that 'mixed signals' in my neck of the woods, Jax."
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"I don't know, it seemed pretty clear to me — especially with the way you reacted when I said it." He smirked. "Or are we conveniently ignoring that part?"
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Pomni visibly stiffened at that. "Uhm. ...I-I wasn't-"
Holding her breath let her change so many colors, but right now all she had was the red. That evening was a blur and mountains of confusion, teeth and so much growling. Was there something she did? That was so long ago! She fought to sweep her bangs in front of her eyes.
"That- that was a weird night, I don't- what'd I... do...??"
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"Do you seriously not remember? I had all those heightened senses as a werewolf. I could smell everything for miles, especially you." He leaned in again, voice low. "You were soooo horny when I showed you my teeth. Then you dug your hands into my fur... tsk, tsk, Pomni. Didn't know you were a monsterfucker."
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Pomni had to shrink a little as Jax leaned in, and she actually wished a little for the circus censors. The color of her face deepened half out of being completely called out, and half out of the fact that her stomach was twisting into some absolutely HELLISH knots from hearing him talk like this.
It was enough to have her take a hand and muffle the grinning mouth. Nope. Not handling this well right now.
"I'mmmm... stilltryingtofigurethingsout...!" She lowered her head to hide her face further.
"Wh-what else am I supposed to take away from being teased and then having you be protective of me when some weird guy shows up? You started it. What does that say about you?"
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Sorry, Pomni, he would love to answer that question, but you have put your hand over his mouth! Fortunately, his eyebrows were still raised and it was so fucking obvious he was still grinning like a major asshole under her palm. He shrugged helplessly. I don't knoooow.
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...But you know what? If covering the mouth kept it from running, that meant she could talk. Pomni took a breath and raised her head again.
"...Just don't make a game out of this, Jax. Alright? Please. I didn't hate the attention that night, and... I-I liked the kiss. I don't know if you're just screwing around, or... trying to figure something out, but... If you're serious about any of that, I want you to just tell me whenever."
She hesitated, then lowered the hand.
"...And don't say it's just a thing you do- I've never seen you kiss Gangle, Ragatha or any of the others."
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He clicked his tongue, suddenly a little too vulnerable again now that she was so blatantly calling him out. He hadn't been joking, or fucking with her at all, save for teasing her about being horny for wolves.
"Awfully cruel to think everything I do is a joke, Pomni. I mean, I am the funny one, but I did just die and come back, and I wasn't really in the mood to joke."
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Maybe she'd accidentally hurt him, then. Who can say? But this weird visit was a big step for both of them: For him, talking about what happened and some things that were cooking away in his mind but couldn't be expressed in words; for her, stepping in and setting down how angry she'd been to get out what she'd wanted to say. The kiss was just going to be something she'd stew on for a little while.
So Pomni wrapped her arms around herself a bit, and wasn't looking at him. She wanted to lean, wanted some level of extra contact, but didn't feel much like she'd earned that any more.
"I've just... been burned before. As a prank."
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He was real. Alive. A person in a stupid bunny body, but a person nonetheless, who could die and had to actually live with the consequences of his actions. He wasn't going to be a great guy overnight, but he had to admit that he couldn't be as wild and uncaring as he had been for years in the circus.
"Screw em." He said with a shrug, "if I was going to prank you, I'd at least do something good." Jax reached for her, looped his arm around her middle, and then quickly scooped her up and rolled them both over until they were on their sides and she was shoved into his furry chest while he held her. "Pretending to be into you as a joke is... pretty lame. Kid shit."
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Momentary surprise took her when he reached for her, and they were moved. Her hands instinctively eased to brace, and everything was soft and warm again. The bedding was nice, and she didn't blame him for staying in bed.
The fur was nice too, and she didn't blame him for flaunting it.
"...I appreciate it."
Pomni caved to the want as her hands settled, and she nuzzled her face to the fluff. God, she was tired...
"Sorry if I fall asleep on you. I was worried, so I didn't exactly... um... sleep much, so..."
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But she couldn't let everything slide.
"...That's what someone who snores would say," she managed, before she let herself settle in for what was going to be her first good sleep in god-knows-how-long.